Something's Got to Happen

Okay, so for the past two years- since I quit smoking, there has been a weird duo of emotions. My increasing weight and feeling really healthy and great have sort of been a superhero team that follow me around. These are their justifications to their positions.
Team Batman- the pros:
My weight is in a healthy BMI range- 22.3 and my doctor tells me there is nothing to be concerned about, the weight is good, the cholesterol is good and my blood pressure is good. I feel really great, I am skateboarding often and walking the dog daily. This is a lot more cardio than I ever got when I was a smoker. We eat so much healthier than two years ago when a lot of our food was convenience-type food.
Team Penguin- the cons:
I am soft! You know when you are a smoker, whether it's true or not you feel kind of edgy. It's true, most people hate your habit but some really back you up- it's like a little club. So I'm not edgy anymore and I weigh like ten pounds more than I did two years ago! So now I'm soft and fluffy! I also have a really weird perception of my physical stature, so if my husband glances at my stomach or my legs I automatically ask defensively what he's looking at. I perceive a huge neon sign pointing out my flaws above my head. This is the worst part, because I am self conscious about my weight it's with me everywhere. I feel guilty because I get hungry or because I want to eat at a certain restaurant for lunch. It's so stupid and I've got to get rid of the Penguin.

So the plan is to lose the ten pounds and hopefully some more weight, but I'm not going to smoke and I'm not going to starve. Instead I'll just do more, I heard smoking burns 200 calories a day. That's what I've got to do consistently. I am posting all this so I can better understand what's going on with my psyche and I'll feel a little more accountable. Tomorrow begins my running regime. There is a school by my house with a great track, so every morning I'll go running around it for 30 minutes. I know I won't be able to run the entire time, but I'll mix it up with some speed walking. We'll see what happens. I think if I'm confident with my weight it will make life nicer for myself and others. My poor husband is often the target of this behavior.
However, in accordance with this I am also declaring a freedom from being guilty about food. If I am hungry I am not going to be ashamed. This mean machine needs fuel!!

Okay, according to Health Status ( an internet calorie calculator)
Vigorous skateboarding for 30 minutes if you're 144lbs- like me burns 298 calories
Walking 3mph at 144lbs burns 166 calories
Running at the slowest option- 10mph at 144lbs for 30 minutes burns 587 calories
If I did all of this daily I'd burn 1051 calories. That is not going to realistically happen AND before I get my hopes up- you have to burn 30,000 calories to lose ONE pound. It's cool though- sleeping, breathing and sitting and muscle mass burn calories so I've got those secret weapons!!

This is rad. I'm not there yet with running. I did a run/walk combo with the dog that included a lap around the track- 1/4 mile and some incline. The dog is worn out which is a good indicator to me that we were moving.